gluten-free, cow dairy-free, egg-free, soy-free, sugar-free
Pasta is a stone. Cold. Fox.
Possibly the sexiest food in existence.
And it ain’t just because of its God-given curves. Ask anyone; sexiness stems from attitude. And Pasta packs some serious attitude. To begin, there is the attitude it inspires when cooking it; a sense of command, artistry, suavity are the common side effects. Golden streams of extra virgin olive oil, the rising steam, the sizzling onions and garlic. And what about the attitude it inspires as it is eaten? Does not an aura of sensuality, intimacy and poise seem to blossom around the lucky eater? Every bite is slow, deliberate, savored. Dancing, as it’s twirled around a fork. It is consumed like a kiss, with puckered lips. Each ribbon wears its creamy pesto or scarlet marinara like a slinky dress. And every time it slips back onto the dish, it might as well wink while murmuring a sly “come hither, Fork.” Pasta flirts.
Can Pasta help but be as seductive as it is? Um, can fish help but swim? It is natural. The way of life. And yet, if truth be told, Americans seem to hate on pasta like they hate on Megan Fox. Pasta and Megan are practically from the same womb, guys. Both have to do nothing but be visible to make people want them. And yes, that is a pretty spectacular feat, especially since requires absolutely no effort whatsoever.
Does it incite jealousy? Definitely. That’s why the haters hate? The majority of them… probably. So whether it be Hollywood starlet, or starlit dinner, they’re picked on and bullied. The media encourages pasta haters with all that low-carb-no-carb-every-female-body-should-fit-one-mold-to-be-considered-beautiful rubbish. But WHY?
Look, Pasta is not trying to be anything other than what it is: a complex carbohydrate. It never strived to be spinach. So why do we even compare it to such superfoods? Why do we deem it “less healthy” than fill-in-the-blank? It is as healthy as it is supposed to be. Pasta is what it is, and it’s perfect being exactly that.
I am no advocate of pretending to be something we’re not, but if anything, I think we should all try to be more like the capellini and cavatelli of the world. Because Pasta is so good at being itself. Its flour and water self. Without making a single excuse. Trying to be more like Pasta simply means trying to be better at being ourselves.
So, go on. Emulate linguine.
Be flexible. Au naturel. Full of carbs. And don’t forget the attitude.
There is a formula for sexiness, if I’ve ever seen one.
Summer Pesto Fettuccine
2 cups fresh basil leaves
1/4 cup pinenuts
2 big cloves of garlic (or 3 smaller ones)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup grated locatelli pecorino romano cheese
1/4 tsp salt
1) Blend all pesto ingredients (above) on low levels in the Vita-mix until smooth with tiny pieces of basil still visible. Then blend on high for one minute to completely blend the basil.
2) Set aside 1/3 cup and refrigerate or freeze the remaining portion.
1-2 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 vidalia onion
1 small zucchini, sliced
1/2 head cauliflower, chopped and steamed
4-5 oz asparagus, chopped and steamed
1/2 cup peas
1/2 tsp salt (possibly more to taste – I didn’t measure this out exactly)
14 oz (1 package) gluten-free fettuccine pasta (I recommend Tinkyada!)
1/3 cup fresh pesto
more locatelli cheese for topping, grated
3) Boil water and add fettuccine. Cook just until al dente.
4) Meanwhile, sauté onions, zucchini, cauliflower, asparagus in olive oil until tender. Add peas and salt, and sauté another minute to heat through.
5) Add the sautéed veggies to the drained pasta, and mix in the 1/3 cup of pesto. Toss until well distributed.
6) Top with more grated locatelli cheese. I bet this dish would also be delicious topped with kalamata olives, roasted red peppers, or sun-dried tomatoes.