Raw Spice Cake Truffles

I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days, but every time I sit down to do it, my fingers abruptly decide they have better things to do (like typing my password into my Netflix account) just as my brain simultaneously shouts, “I’m blowing this popsicle stand!” and departs to an undisclosed location.  I have some theories that might explain this.

My fingers, themselves, may have an even bigger addiction to Breaking Bad than I do.

My brain might be having a secret affair with another blog.

The mere mouthwatering image of raw spice cake truffles maybe makes me forget how to act like a human.

Three solid options.  However, as believable as each of these possibilities is, none of them quite ring true.  So… what is the real reason?

Iateanentire16ozjarofArtisana’scashinibutterinonesittingafewdaysago.

Ahem.

I ate an entire 16 oz jar of Artisana’s cashini butter in one sitting a few days ago.  Did I mention it was an entire 16 oz?  And that is was in a single sitting?  And that it was only one of the many other things I ate that day?

What does my consuming a normal person’s month supply of cashini have to do with my inability to write a silly little blog post?  Well, a lot, apparently.  Writing is a confirmation of Who I Am.  The act of writing fuels my joy.  It usually ends leaving me with a unique collection of words that I carefully chose and creatively strung together.  A recipe of which I’m proud.  A dish that both my ego and my soul would agree to go halves-ies on.

But… I recently ate an entire 16 oz jar of cashini.  All by myself.  In about a half an hour.  And somehow, it made me feel like a terrible person.  Somehow, it made completely inaccessible any joy, pride, or confidence when creating.  Somehow, it replaced my brain with a tiny Gisele Bündchen repeating, “There’s simply no hope for your thighs now.”  She grimly declares this and then runway walks from my frontal lobe to occipital lobe in one single stride because even her legs in miniature are so outrageously long compared to those of her action-figure-sized friends – scratch that – lego people friends.  They don’t even get to experience the joys of having knees.

I have knees.  It’s nice.  And my legs are strong.  They carry me through all sorts of hikes.  They dance their way through all sorts of choreography.  My right knee displays a prominent piece of lead on its side where I naively stabbed it with a pencil in kindergarten, and there’s not even an ounce of hard feelings between us.  Equally, my left thigh features a quarter-sized circle of discoloration where I naively rested a pan (hot off the burner) two years ago, and does my left thigh seek revenge?  Nay.  My legs are kind to me.  How can I be so cruel to them?

Oh yeah… BECAUSE I ATE AN ENTIRE 16 OZ JAR OF CASHINI THE OTHER DAY.  And somehow, it made me feel like less.  Less capable.  Less beautiful.  Less perfect.  Less Desi.  Somehow, it made me turn on myself with an eye more critical than those Negative Nancy folk who specifically sign on to Amazon simply to catapult a mess of harsh words and a bad rating at every product they’ve ever purchased.  No shower curtain rod, toaster, or used book is ever good enough.

What is most fascinating to me about this whole experience is how I’ve been swimming in self-bashing for days, and yet I’d never considered writing about it until now.  In fact, my impulse was to push it under the rug.  Don’t talk about it.  Feel ashamed for feeling ashamed in the first place.  Then I realized what silence would accomplish.  It would only feed this body image plague that runs rampant in our country.  Staying quiet does nothing but uphold the glamourous myth stating that beauty is attainable by just two ways: photoshop or self-destruction.

I’m done with staying quiet.

The reason: I ate an entire jar of cashini in under an hour.  And I haven’t stopped punishing myself for it since.  And… I think you and I are the same.

No, I’m not accusing you of sharing my nut butter addiction and black hole of a stomach.  I’m merely suggesting that we each have our own personal cashini jar.  It is whatever triggers us to be our own bullies: a mirror, a magazine cover, a cookie, even a so-called “friend.”  Our bullies are present more than we realize.  They haunt us so often, you’d think all of American womankind has multiple personality disorder.  This being the norm, it is all the more difficult to recognize and remain aware of it.  As soon as we acknowledge that our culture’s twisted values affect us all , and that life is not to be confused with a constant state of comparing, maybe we’ll also realize that our “cashini jars” have, in truth, zero power over us.  Maybe uniting in our pain will be enough to reverse it.  I hope so.  I, for one, long for the day when I’ll eat an entire 16 oz jar of cashini, maybe get a stomach ache, laugh about it, embrace my puppy love infatuation with food, and then let it go.  Sans Gisele, please.

I believe the “beauty myth” exists to keep us divided against ourselves and against each other.  And we’re buying it.  Maybe less and less, mind you, but we’re still buying it.

Anyone save their receipts?

Courage for this post was drawn from Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point and Angela at Oh She Glows

Raw Spice Cake Truffles

adapted from Casey’s Lemon and Coconut Balls 

*I’ve submitted this recipe to Simply Sugar and Gluten Free’s Slightly Indulgent Tuesday and Diet, Dessert and Dogs’ Wellness Weekend

1 ripe avocado

1/4 cup coconut flour

2 Tbsp raw carob powder

2 Tbsp filtered water

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon, plus more for dusting

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

1/4 tsp ground ginger

pinch of cloves

1/8 tsp himalayan pink salt

NuNaturals alcohol-free vanilla liquid stevia, to taste (I use about 1 dropper)

1) Blend avocado and water in food processor until smooth.

2) Add all remaining ingredients.  Blend, scrape down sides, and repeat until mixture resembles a uniform cookie dough.

3) Roll spoonfuls into balls and dust with cinnamon.

4) Place truffles in freezer for 1-3 hours (depending on temp of freezer and your personal taste!) and then enjoy!  The freezer hardens them a bit, making the exterior a bit firmer while keeping the interior soft!  I am not sure how long these would last in the fridge since they never last that long after I make them…

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29 Comments

Filed under Confections

29 responses to “Raw Spice Cake Truffles

  1. I’ve never tried these truffles (though they sound delicious), but I do love you more than cake. Also? This post makes me happy. We’re all human, ya know?

    • Precisely the point, Muffin. Except you summed it up in a nice, short and sweet sentence. :) I love YOU more than, cake. Mmmm.. these truffles have a cake-like consistency…

  2. Scott

    Infused with two of the most beautiful human traits: empathy and courage.

  3. I have eaten 8 oz of almond butter in a sitting, 10-16 oz of roasted almonds in a sitting, a bag of corn chips in a sitting. “Be gentle” are the words I speak to myself when my own criticism gets out of hand. Before I discovered my challenges with candidiasys and gluten intolerance, I would eat a pound of cookies in a sitting. It was what first clued me in to my problem.

    I agree with both Scott and my friend, Marian. You show great courage and strength and empathy in this article. You stepped up and wrote about it. Good job.

    And for the record, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as coconut flour. I am allergic to so many foods, I was surprised that just maybe I could eat this recipe. Maybe.

    • Sounds like we are two of a kind, Steve! Thank you for your insightful comment and kind words. They are so appreciated. :) I will be so happy if you can eat this! Coconut flour is my new love.

  4. anne

    How fitting that this seems to tie in with another blog post I just read. In case you are interested, http://ecocatlady.blogspot.com/2011/11/thoughts-on-life-death-and-culture-of.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheEcoCatLadySpeaks+%28The+Eco+Cat+Lady+Speaks%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

    Enjoy whatever you are eating, then move on. It never does us any good to keep kicking ourselves. That’s what I’ve learned to tell myself. Lovely post.

  5. Love it! And YOU. Seriously, we are so brainwashed. I love that you’re being so open about it.

  6. A Tablespoon of Liz

    These look so good! I love spice cake, especially in the fall. It just tastes like the holidays!

  7. These sound wonderful and super healthy. Thank you for sharing.

  8. I think you’re right, we all have our jars of cashini butter, even if they’re not food-related. And kudos to you for writing honestly about it (and for being kind to yourself about it, yes?). And for making these lovely and intriguing truffles! Thanks so much for submitting to WW this week. :)

  9. I cannot agree more with your sentiments on how our society has shamed us into admitting that we’re hungry. Food has become somewhat forbidden, leading to cravings and feelings of naughtiness whenever we “overindulge.” Like countless others, I’ve suffered from eating an entire loaf of gluten-free bread, an 8-oz bag of dried apricots, and half a batch of pumpkin muffins. Before, I would absolutely loathe myself, focus on nothing else, vow to eat nothing the next day, and exercise my heart out.

    But just yesterday, I finished off the rest of my homemade granola (quite a generous portion). It was a sentiment to how well my relationship with food has grown that I accepted it, said “Man, that tasted delicious,” and considered that the scale had been reading me a little underweight lately anyway, so it was probably for the best. Most of all, I forgave myself. And I’m eternally grateful that I’ve gotten to that point in my eater’s psyche.

    The point is, that you certainly made clear with this thoughtful post, is that one day of indulgence does not derail your entire year of healthy eating, nor will it wreak havoc upon your figure for the rest of your life. And it definitely does not make you any less of an amazing person than you really are.

    Thanks for the great post.
    -Ali.

    • Ali, how wonderful to hear you being kind to yourself, too! Homemade granola? Um, what ELSE could you have done? Yummm :) Anyway, it is heartwarming to know you share my sentiments. As Ricki just pointed out, whether its food or something else, we all have our own “cashini jars” that our culture has shamed us into making “the enemy.” And it doesn’t have to be that way!

  10. what an open and honest post. kudos to you for having the courage to put it out there for us all to share. this is actually the first post of yours i’ve ever read {thank you to ricki’s wonderful wellness weekends & your gorgeous cake truffles for leading me here} and i will certainly continue to read after this beautiful post. thank you desi! xo, jess

    • Jess! This comment brings me SO much joy – not only because of your sweet words, but because I’m actually a fan of YOUR lovely blog! Thank you for reading… :) xo

  11. You are an exceptional writer, Desi! There’s something about nut butters. I cannot buy almond butter … I have no resistance at all. So when I get a small jar, I immediately bake with it. I can resist peanut butter, but almond butter and dare I say chocolate hazelnut butter (even the healthier kind like Justin’s) just make me go insane! So you’re not alone, dear. Oh, and I love, love, love these raw spice cake truffles! Must by some avocados pronto!

    Happy Thankgiving, Desi! xoxo,
    Shirley

    • Shirley, so glad you speak nut butter, too. :) I’m a big fan of these truffles, myself… a yummy alternative treat to my usual nut-butter-by-the-spoon! As always, thank you for your kind words, and Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!!!!
      xoxoxoxoxo

  12. Oh, and one more thing … LOL. “Distractionland … where every ride seems more fun that the one you are waiting in line for.” ;-)

    xo,
    Shirley

  13. OH MY GOODNESS! I have all of these ingredients — I am making these TODAY! Found you through Shirley — awesome website:)

  14. Yum! Glad my recipe provided inspiration :)

  15. Pingback: Roughly Raw Pumpkin Pie | The Palate Peacemaker

  16. Stephanie

    I think it’s really brave you talked about your experience in the post. The truth is, I used to do that to with peanut butter and other nut butters. That was during my “less healthy” period, after a while it made me realize that I wasn’t eating enough or getting enough nutrients. I doubt that it was the case for you, but I just wanted to say…it happens!
    Even now when I’ve found some balance in my life, things like that happen when I’m really stressed out. e.g. eating whole bar of chocolate, eating the sample 8oz jar of Cacao bliss (omg) etc. What was different though, was that I wasn’t swimming in guilt and self hate, but instead I was looking back at the roots of the issue and tried to deal with them first.
    I hope my comment made sense – it’s actually kind of hard to explain these things ;)
    Anyway, the recipe looks really awesome! I have 3 avocados waiting to be ripened. At least one of them will soon be used for this.

    • Stephanie, your comment made perfect sense. I completely agree – It’s always best to deal with the roots of an issue when emotional eating takes place. Not with everyone, and not necessarily in every case – but sometimes it is a clue to a completely unrelated problem one may be dealing with. This is certainly the case with me sometimes! Other times, I just really love my nut butters! ;)
      Anyway, hope you enjoy the truffles! They usually hit the spot for me!
      xo
      Desi

  17. Pingback: Anti-candida, sugar-free, gluten-free, vegan Wellness Weekend event | Ricki Heller

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